10 questions every first timer should ask

The other day, Friday afternoon to be exact, I spent a wonderful session with a client who started the session wanting reassurance and guidance.

For many clients, the first time seeing an escort is never really about desire alone. It is often about curiosity, nerves, excitement, fear, fantasy, or kink and even loneliness or self-discovery.

What I know for sure is the people who I share the best experiences with are rarely the impulsive ones. They are the people who pause long enough to have to ask the right questions.

As I was chatting with the client on Friday, a thought came into my head. These questions are so important, they need to be written down and presented in my journal so that every first timer can reference them. So here we go...

1. As a married man with a family, how can you guarantee that your apartment is discreet? My apartment is in a small block of nine apartments. It is on a very quiet suburban road with plenty of on road parking. The block itself has no receptionist and there are no cameras at the entrance or in the hallways. Many residents do not work from home, so the block is very quiet and you should not see anyone.

2. I know that you make content, how can you guarantee that I am not being secretly filmed and uploaded to Onlyfans? This is a popular concern and in all honestly there are two parts to the answer. From a production point of view, all of my content is made with lights and cameras, it's not a hidden camera not does it look like a hidden camera. As with my incall services, I pride myself on making great content, not grainy hidden camera videos. From an legal point of view, which is the most important part, no platform will allow me to upload content with out the participant being a verified performer. This is part of the laws brought in over revenge porn and should any content be uploaded illegally I could face criminal charges. I cannot stress enough, that it is not worth my reputation to make content secretly or illegally.

3. In terms of sexual health, how do I know you are clean/safe? Firstly, you have every right to ask this question, and I am not offended. I get tested every three months and I post the results on my blog. I am due to be tested in the next week or so and the results will be uploaded. From a personal point of view, I have a husband and his health is my priority which is why I do not take any risks regarding sexual health. Also, I take Prep daily which you cannot get from the NHS unless you have a clean sexual health check.

4. If you play safe why do you take Prep? Good question and the answer is simple... it is a back up precaution for my own sexual health. Just because I am on Prep, does not mean I am taking risks, it means I am protecting myself in every way possible,

5. How do I know that you are taking Prep and not just saying it? You don't, however I can show you that I have it and there needs to be an element of trust. Hopefully you can tell from my previous answers that my sexual health is paramount to me.

6. I don't want our time to feel rushed, how can you reassure me of this? I feel the same. I try my best to not book clients in back to back as this gives time for the session to run properly and allow for lateness, showering and chat. It also allows me to freshen up and rest between sessions. However this is a business and I occasionally glance at my phone or reply to an enquiry.

7. I am so paranoid about my wife and family finding out, how can you help put my mind at ease? Well, firstly, I have been in this business twenty years and I totally understand the respect and discretion needed. I provide a service in a clean and safe space. I do not message you, I do not contact you. Whatever happens between us, stays between us. I understand the nerves, but scratching your itch with a professional companion is a lot easier and less hassle than using hookup sites or dating apps.

8. I struggle with the guilt attached to being attracted to trans women, how can I deal with that? Firstly, I am not a professional but I can speak from experience. This itch is not going to go away. You can push it away as many times as you like but it will come back. The nerves and the guilt are all part of it. Being attracted to trans women is lonely, you may not be able to confide in friends about it. I talk about this a lot and I address it in my Substack. We all have an itch, it makes us who we are. Lean into it, scratch it, do it responsibly and then go back and enjoy a "normal" life... until the itch returns.

9. I have so many fantasies, I don't know where to begin? Well, making the booking and turning up is the hardest part. Many men struggle with telling me what they truly want from a session, I guess they feel I am going to judge them. What I will say is this... I cannot make a session happen if I do not know what you want. You run the risk of leaving the session thinking, well she didn't do X, Y and Z when in truth, did you ask for X, Y and Z. Communicate, confide in me and let me lead the way.

10. What does this all mean in terms of am I gay? I have had this conversation with so many clients and my version of this is simple... do not focus on the labels, focus on the connection and the desire. The question is valid, we live in a world fixated on pigeon holing people but you don't have to do that. The term gay refers to a male being attracted to another male, are you attracted to David Beckham? The answer is probably be no. Lets release the labels and focus on the desire. I personally believe being attracted to trans women does not make you gay.

Your first experience should never feel rushed, chaotic or shame-driven... it should feel intentional.

From my experience, when people approach a session with honesty and self-awareness, they often walk away with not only their itch scratched but they also learned a bit more about themselves too.